Friday, January 8, 2021

And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack, And you may find yourself in another part of the world...

Well, I've suckered a few people in from here and there. (Welcome!) I feel the next best step is to tell people what to expect. Peter Jennings was a famous and well-liked newscaster when I was growing up. As a young reporter, he got a piece of advice from the equally famous Walter Cronkite. Between the two of them, they reported every major news event of the 20th century until Jennings' untimely death in the 90s. Somewhere in the 60s, Cronkite told Jennings to "Tell 'em what you're gonna tell 'em, tell 'em, then tell 'em what you told 'em." 

So, I'm going to tell you about our main players and how we approach the relationships between us all.

The Dramatis Personae include: 

Me: 39, F, St. Louis, MO but born in Ohio

The Guy: 36, M, St. Louis, MO but born in Nevada

McKie: Big dark brindle shaggy, stand up eared boy, age 11. Born on The Guy's foot when their pregnant female dog looked like she was going potty on the rug, except a puppy plopped out instead of a poop. Most of the time it was an upgrade, but then there are the days when he pulls open storage containers to go after food, after scattering garbage all over the mud room for one of the humans to clean up, that I start to wonder if a pet raccoon would be less chaotic to keep entertained. 

McKie has bitten at least 5 dogs and 3 humans, usually because the dog or human approached his human, his food, his water, or his treats. This habit is called resource guarding. Attached is a great article about addressing food guarding behavior if you're struggling with it. Food guarding is one of the most common behaviors that gets dogs sent to or returned to a shelter. It's some scary shit.

Thankfully for the most part, our management tactics at home work to keep us all safe. But that said, The Guy kicks himself regularly for listening to those "BE THE ALPHA WOLF, WUSSY MAN!!!1!" types that told him he should growl at Puppy!McKie when he showed interest in The Guy's food. Confronting the dog over food means that the confrontations are just going to get worse and worse the more food is around, and a dog is always faster with his teeth than a human is with his hands one day.

One day is all it takes for a dog to put someone in the hospital. We like to forget that part of living with fuzzy, smiley, interactive, social carnivores until someone needs stitches and a lawyer.

Most recently, the dog McKie grabbed got stuck between two pieces of furniture between McKie and The Guy, who also had a bag of really awesome treats and was getting ready to leave the house for work. As long as those resources aren't around, every willing dog is his buddy, assuming they practice basic dog manners. They were back to being friends within the week, in spite of the antibiotics, cone of shame, and stitches. 

McKie, of course, didn't have a mark on him. He's a crafty old bastard.

MacGyver : Little by our family's standards, he's black saddled with brindle legs, and luckily a pitty that still has his tail and ears. Dogs arrive with those parts, not so dimwits with scissors can hack them off to make their puppy "look hard", but so they can communicate with other dogs. The only parts we should be consistently removing from dogs are arguably rear dewclaws and reproductive organs, and even those last ones should be based on the individual dog's health and age. Speaking of that, MacGyver is... 7ish? Maybe 8? He comes in hot to greet everyone and goes paws up to look soulfully into your eyes, unless you're short, then he's kissing your face.

I first met him while I was working at a shelter in the city. I went into the kennel with him to try to put his leash on and he was so happy to have a chance at some enrichment he leapt into the air to kiss me and split my lip. During his time there, someone with a piece of paper and maybe a photo of him decided he was dangerous, and had him slated to be killed. But he was perfectly polite and playful with dogs at the shelter and warmed up to staff well enough after a couple of days. We chose his name for being able to take apart every iteration of garbage containment or collection we've come up with. For normal dogs, these guidelines for dog-proofing your home will probably work well. For MacGyver, they were simply step one. 

This dog knows how to take apart Steak n Shake cups to get the last of the whipped cream out of the narrow cup holder bit. He knows how to hold and squeeze open sauce containers from fast food places, and can smell the difference between ranch and hot sauce before it gets all over him. He knows how to open up empty chip bags to lick out the crumbs without them getting stuck on his face. He is bound and determined to catch more mice running through the basement than the cat ever will. Skills like those come with the territory of running around South City starving and hunting cockroaches and dumpster rats to survive, I guess, but for all of that, he's cat friendly too. 

So why he now lunges and nips at people and animals alike on leash, I don't freakin' know, but I'm nearing the end of my wits about it. When he barks, he sounds like he's about 22# and fluffy. He's short and a little longer than he is wide, and a solid 58# of "Do you have food? Oh, then we can cuddle. Here's the tummy spot I like scratched." 

Unless you put him on a leash, then he pulls like a Husky on speed qualifying for the Iditarod, but in zig zags.

MacShane: Long legged, wrinkle faced with ears softer than velvet and big melty brown eyes, he's a fox red hunk of love... once he's had a few weeks to get used to you. If you just walk up to this dog in public or stop by the house, expect to bleed. And he's fast. No, or at least very little, warning comes when he decides to bite; suddenly you're dripping blood on the floor and he's in a defensible position across the room, braced for further conflict. 

Keeping him as calm as possible is our priority number one right now. We're seven days into the project and I'm freaking out. MacShane's eating out of puzzle toys, enjoying his walk through the neighborhood before we go to work, and bounding around the living room with a squeaky toy in his face. But, so far, he's not relaxing yet, and that's okay. He's just spent over a year back at the shelter, after several months in a home that took great steps to try to heal his broken heart and stress-depleted mind. I don't expect miracles. His decision to lay on the throw rug in the living room while I cooked dinner last night warmed the cockles of my cold little heart. 

His decision to walk into his wide-open "designed for Great Danes" crate in the kitchen and chill out inside it with the door open gave me my first sigh of relief in a week. There's more good information here about getting ready for an adopted dog and making their first days easier. Please don't kid yourselves, though; adopting a new dog is rarely what people would call "easy".

Finally, what is not going on. 

Readers aren't getting anyone's real names, here, nor are we using the name of the rescue. That is all intentional and please don't doxx us (release personal info like names, addresses, or methods of contact). South City's risky enough without weirdos finding me off the Internet. 

If I find and use products that make our life simpler and easier, I will link them with my honest thoughts on the product or service. If someone ever pays me to talk about their stuff, and I take them up on it, I will tell you that well in advance. We're advertised at too much for my taste as it is. I will not turn on the "adsense" thinger because I can't control who or what shows up through that gadget. I will not have certain damaging, toxic schools of "training" (really more of a mindset that excuses abuse, toward animals and humans alike, and makes the biggest blow-hards in the industry scads of money) showing up in a way that looks like they are something I endorse. 

I sum it up this way: if social services would investigate or arrest someone for using a device or "teaching method" on a human toddler, the device or method should not be used on a dog. If you are angry when you start and feel relieved or powerful when you're done, you're not teaching, you're abusing. End of discussion. Unless your questions are polite, respectful, and informed, don't attempt to engage me in debate about this point. Take that shit elsewhere. Here, four-leggers and two-leggers alike are safe. So are three-leggers and no-leggers, and even eight-leggers if I have a deli cup and a piece of paper handy. 

But abusers aren't welcome. I've had enough of those in my life, thank you very much, and I will not become that same kind of nightmare fuel to my dogs.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Some Days You Gotta Dance.

Because some days it's the little things, like remembering to distribute four pills between five dogs in three cups of expensive (almost...